the power of prayer

hello all.  its been awhile, huh?  been busy with summer.  robert is back in school and he is studying religion which is great!  he is really enjoying it.  ive been helping him type up his papers at night, so i have been learning a lot too!

God has really put it on my heart that i need to share some things with yall.  ive been kind of putting it off, because even though this is my blog, i feel like all i do is talk about myself sometimes.  idk... kind of strange since i consider myself to be one of those people who doesnt really open up very easily.  ive been praying about it though, and as always, ive been asking Him "why"? not in a "why are you going to make me write about this" type of way... but in a "how do you want me to tie all of this together" type of way, if that even makes any sense.  but, as i was sitting on my couch this afternoon, God hit me with the answer as to why He wants me to share some more of my story with you.



 He wants me to talk about the power of prayer.  specifically, intercessory prayer and group prayer, and how important they are in our relationship with God.

i guess i really got to thinking about prayer and how important it is when rob got involved with a mens prayer group at church.  a group of about 15 men have started meeting at our church on tuesday nights to pray.  it started off as a time for them to pray for a revelation as to how they are supposed to be the godly men that they are supposed to be, but it has turned into something much more than that... 

now, ive been involved in some pretty heavy and amazing group prayer.  the "light this city" group that i am involved in prays at the end of each meeting that we have.  the first time that i went and i heard these people pray, i was completely blown away.  our group started out with six people at the first meeting.  i had never prayed out loud in a group like that so when they opened up and started talking to God i could not believe it.   four people prayed that night... and it took an hour and a half...  i had never heard or felt anything like it.  when i walked out of the room, i was just buzzing from how powerful it had been.  now im not trying to say that the only reason it was so powerful was because it lasted a long time.... that was not the case at all.  it was so powerful because for the first time i heard what it was like for someone to truly open their heart to God and to lay their needs and concerns at his feet.  not only that, but for the first time i understood what it meant to praise God.  i mean, i had praised God while singing in church but it was just amazing to me to hear it in prayer, because i had always though of prayer as something that i had to do.  there was really no joy in it for me.  before bed i would say my little... now i lay me down to sleep.. prayer.  i would throw in whatever i needed before i said amen... but it had never felt like it had that night in class.  i talked in one of my other blogs about how when i first was learning to pray i found that i was talking at God and not with God.  but that first night in group, i heard what it was like to talk with God.  not only that, but i felt what it was like to have the Spirit physically manifest himself in a room.  God was happy that we were coming to Him in praise and submission... like i said... it was amazing...

back to robert... he came home well after 11 pm after that first mens prayer group, and i just smiled because he had this look on his face.  i recognized it as the look that i had that first night that i was in a powerful prayer group.  he came in with this kind of bewildered look.  i just gave him a knowing smile and said.... i know, right?  all he could do was shake his head yes...

from the mens prayer group, a womans prayer group was born.  we have been meeting on thursday nights, and it has been another powerful group prayer experience for me as well.  there is just something about coming together with a group of women and praying for each other... praying for the church... praying for the lost... praying for the nation... that i cant even describe.  but its powerful.

needless to say, prayer has been on my mind a lot lately.  i find myself doing it more often during the day.  when someone runs across my mind, i throw up a little prayer to God to just bless that person.  there is a couple that has been on my mind a lot lately.  this is a couple that robert met and started a witnessing relationship with.  it is such a God thing how all of this happened.  robert met this couple and felt compelled to speak to them.  what he found out was that they have fallen on some hard times financially.  he also found out that neither of them were saved.  he has kept in touch with the husband over the past several months... witnessing to him...trying to help him find a job... and just trying to help out however he could.  well, rob and i have been praying heavily for this couple.  very heavily.  for the husband to find a job... for them to become financially stable... for their childrens health... but most importantly... for them to receive salvation.  well, heres where this story gets really cool... robert had hooked this couple up with pastor dave to try and get them some monetary help as they were in danger of getting their power cut off.... robert has been at camp with the pre teens this past week so i was the go between for dave and him.  i had called dave last wednesday afternoon to let him know the situation and i left him a message letting him know to call me and let me know when everything went through.  about two hours later i get this phone call from dave... he is super excited and when i ask him what is going on he tells me... God is just so good amanda.  it is so amazing how he just ties everything together.... i asked him to elaborate a bit and what he said next made me so so happy.... he said that this mans wife had come to church to pick up a check that the church had written for them.  while the paperwork was being worked up he asked the mans wife to come visit with him in his office.  then he said... amanda, i have never met anyone in my life who was more ready to be saved.  he said that he just started talking about God and salvation... and this woman said... i need that!  so he walked her through the prayer and she was saved right there in his office last wednesday.  so awesome.  it was so amazing to see God answer a direct request like that.  i was so excited for this woman... and the funny thing is that i have never met her!

so that got me to thinking about how many people in my life have prayed for me like that... what prayers about me has God answered for someone else?  and i know that there are a lot.  a whole lot.  in fact, i probably would not be sitting here writing this blog tonight if it hadnt been for someone elses intercessory prayer for me.  you see, ive had my own share of battles that i now know i never could have won without the help of God... even when i did not believe in him...

i touched on my history with depression, anxiety, and self mutilation in one facebook post several months back, but i have never really elaborated on it on this blog. ive battled these things for about as long as i can remember.  the first time i remember cutting myself to relieve some intense emotional pain was when i was probably 14.  its so messed up how my brain deals with emotional pain.  for those of you who dont know exactly what self mutilation is, it is when a person physically harms themselves to take their mind off of the intense emotional pain that they are having to deal with.  like i said... messed up... but it was a coping strategy that i found worked for me very effectively.  so effectively, in fact, that i found myself doing it pretty often.  i would cut or burn my skin.... the emotional pain would subside, and while i watched the wound heal, it felt almost as if the emotional wound was healing as well.  so couple that with some pretty intense depression and anxiety, and i ended up in a psychiatrists office by the time i was a senior in high school.  with therapy and meds, i stabilized and was able to make my way off to college.  it was there though that i really came face to face with my demons.  it was there that i thought about taking my life for the first time.  depression is so crazy because it makes you feel like there is just no other option sometimes.  no matter how much the people around you love you, or what you have going for you, or what you have to be happy about... you just cant seem to find that happiness.  its like everything around you is dark... and painful...it feels like you are never going to be normal again.  and when you function at that level for a long enough time suicide begins to seem like viable a solution to end the pain.  even when in your head you know that it is wrong and so permanent... it seems like it is just the only option.  i thank God often these days that i have such an amazing support system in my family.  dad came and picked me up from college a couple of times to bring me home and get me in treatment.  but the worst i ever got hit with it was after i had my second child.  post partum depression is a very real and very wicked thing to have to go through.  it was so bad after i had bennett, that i ended up having to go inpatient at a psych hospital for two weeks after she was born so that i would have people around me constantly to make sure that i wouldnt harm myself.  it was so horrible.  i had two perfect little children at home, and i felt like i had nothing to live for. luckily robert and my parents were there to help me through the whole thing.  the real tragedy though is that i was so heavily medicated that i hardly remember the first six months of bennetts life.  thankfully i found an amazing group of doctors that found the right combination of meds for me.  i went through an intense therapy regimen, that helped me come to terms with a lot of the underlying issues that i was trying deal with by scarring my skin... that helped me live again.

so why do i bring all of this up.... as i said, after i talked to dave, i started wondering about all the people that had had prayers about me answered.  i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that me making it through that really dark period in my life was an answer to many peoples prayers.  rob has told me that he prayed so heavily for me during that time.  i know that my family and friends were as well.  looking back, i realize that one of the main reasons that i made it through that was because i had so many people praying for me... and looking back... the fact that God moved in that situation even when i wasnt saved makes it all the more powerful to me.

robert has also said that he prayed for a long time for my salvation.  probably for about 8 years.  what an amazing husband i have...thats a long time for someone to keep bringing that to God.  but he did... and God answered that one as well. 

so after i was thinking about all of that i started wondering why?  you know thats my favorite question to ask Him.  why do we need to pray for other people?  why does He answer some peoples intercessory prayers and not others?  do the chances of Him interceding for someone increase with the number of people that pray about it?  does it increase with the intensity with which it is prayed for?  those are some pretty big questions...

and here is what he gave me.  we need to intercede for people because Christs blood calls for us to.  before Christ we did not have a direct connection with God.  when Jesus hung on that tree and took our sin on himself.... when he died on that cross... the veil between us and God was ripped.  we now have the ability to have direct contact with God because of his torture and death.  in other words... Jesus was the ultimate intercessor.  he interceded between us and God.  he reconciled the rift between man and the Lord....and because he did this... we are called to do it as well.  we are called as Christians to pray on behalf of our brethren.

as for the questions about how God decides to answer prayers... the answer is that i dont know.  God is too big for me to even try to figure out why he does the things that he does... but here is an absolute truth... i guarantee that He has a plan... and that plan is perfect... and when he does answer prayer...it will be His will... and it will glorify him.

so my whole point here is that prayer is important.  really important.  we are so blessed that Jesus died for us and gave us this connection to God.  God loves it when we talk to Him.  He loves knowing that He can comfort us by just lifting something up to Him.... so go to Him.  get on you knees before Him.  praise Him for every good thing that He has given you... ask Him for what you need...pray for your friends... pray for your family... pray for our nation... pray pray pray... and He will answer your prayers.  you might have to pray for years before He answers you.. and you might not always get a yes... but He will answer them. 

thanks for reading.  i love yall... and i will be praying for you.

a